Jesus said when the Holy Spirit comes that He would convince the world of sin, righteousness and judgment. It is the MOST important ministry of the Spirit. Our altars are barren in our churches because the Holy Spirit is not allowed to do His work. We can have the largest membership rolls, but without the moving of the Holy Spirit nothing will happen much for God. Winning the softball league is not what God is too much interested in. Having the largest membership rolls in the city is not what God is too much interested in. He’s interested in people and His will to be done in their lives. Many will stand before Him lost one day professing how much they done for Him in “His” name and He will say “Depart.”

Matt 7:21-23 - Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

            The Bible says Jonah fled from the presence of the Lord. It indicates that he made a conscious choice to disobey the voice of the Holy Spirit and ran the other way.

            As I write these words I am reminded of a time in my life in the not too distant past when I stood at a huge threshold in my life. I pause to think back about three and half years ago when out of despair and discouragement I fled from this same presence just like Jonah did. I was called to preach the gospel in 1987 even though I feel that the Lord has had His hand on me ever since I was a child. Growing up in the home of a Southern Baptist preacher I had very little exposure to the baptism in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking with other tongues.  Being filled with the Spirit in 1987 I began to understand more and more of the ways of God. One thing in particular was the dealing of the human race by the Holy Spirit. It is a ministry that we little understand in the church I’m afraid. Much of it is not ignorance, but just plain demonic religious prejudice and pride. Most of the church’s leadership does not want to relinquish the control over their congregations.

I had been in the ministry to a degree, even though I had not totally sold out to Jesus like I should have, since 1988. Up to this point I had pastured a small church in Florida, went to Africa and preached in 1994 and had run an international missions organization for 3 years and seen some of what the Lord was trying to do in bringing the church together.

Despite all this religious “activity,” my personal life was a shambles. I probably was backslidden most of the time I was in the ministry but was never willing to look deep inside and see the condition of my soul. In 1996 the missions organization I worked for closed and I found myself out of work. After a rocky 4-year marriage to my second wife, I saw its collapse in 1996. Through the bitterness and anger over that, I decided that I was not fit to even open my Bible, not to mention stand behind a pulpit and preach to others any longer. Being so humiliated by all this I found very few people lending a supportive shoulder in the small town I lived in. The shame of it all was great. I was hurt. I remember sitting at a Dairy Queen restaurant in Cairo Georgia in May 1996 wanting to find a cave and hide and just die. That day I told my brother John I was leaving the ministry. I told him I wasn’t going to be a hypocrite anymore by preaching to others things I couldn’t live myself. In love he looked at me and said, “why not get right with God then and go back to preaching?” I told him without hesitating that I didn’t care about doing that and was getting away from Cairo and everything else that reminded me of the ministry. In my bitter heart I vowed I would just live my humble sordid life away from anyone who reminded me of the past. I also vowed I’d never preach again.

With a loving glance, John looked at me and said, “God has a way of making you do what He’s called you to do. Remember what happened with Jonah and the fish. He will prepare a fish for you if He has to. Don’t become a Jonah.

I knew what he was saying was true but at that moment I hurt so bad and was so embarrassed of my life I didn’t care. This was my first step in running from God. I, like Jonah, would eventually rise up even further and try to “flee from the presence of the Lord.” During this descent into this moral and spiritual oblivion, I fell into deep immorality and became so cold against God I didn’t care if I ever darkened the door of another church ever again. To show you how much God was concerned for me even in this state, He had spoken to a real estate friend of mine in a dream two days before I left Cairo. She called me one morning frantically asking if I would come see her.

When I got to her office she said, “Please don’t leave Cairo. If you go to Atlanta, you will fall into sexual sin.” “God wants you to wait on Him here and allow Him to work this problem out for you here. He will open a door for employment for you. I know God spoke it to me because I asked Him if it was Him for Him to put me to sleep.” My friend was what I refer to as a night owl and always had trouble falling to sleep at night. But this night, she told me that she fell right off to sleep. To be honest, I didn’t believe God had spoken that to her. I was “strong” and at that time even though I was angry and bitter the thought of falling into sexual sin didn’t bother me. I had reached such a dangerous point in my life. It’s a point that no one wants to get to. When God ceases to be able to deal with your heart, you’re in grave danger. Jonah had reached such a place and was running. I had reached such a place and was running.

Atlanta, Georgia – Summer of 1996

  I moved to Atlanta, Georgia that June. Looking back on it now I know it was where the Lord sent me to heal. My dear aunt who raised me since I was a child had graciously opened her house for me to stay. I was so miserable there though. Every Friday night she had her weekly Bible study and every song they sang made me feel worse. The worse place for a backslider is around the HOLY SPIRIT!!!! That’s why it’s so important for the Holy Spirit to move in our churches. He needs to make sinners uncomfortable now before they die and go to hell. That sounds blunt and harsh but it’s the solemn truth. I didn’t want to be around anything that resembled church. While there she would constantly witness to me about the condition of my soul asking me on many occasions in the mornings where I stood with God. She knew I wasn’t right and nothing I could tell her would convince her otherwise. The truth was I WASN’T RIGHT. I was running from God. You see, when you run, everyone around you knows you’re running. The mariners, as heathen as they were, KNEW something was amiss when the storm came up. They knew enough to ask Jonah what was wrong.

My aunt had seen the Lord anoint me as a child to preach. She tells me many stories of my childhood when I would stand outside her house and point my finger at the houses across the street proclaiming, “you better repent, or you’ll die and go to hell.” As a child, I didn’t really know what I was actually saying but the anointing to preach the gospel had already been placed on my life early on. At this point in 1996, those memories were only distant vapors. The pastorate in Florida was forgotten. The trip to Africa was forgotten. I just didn’t care.

            Regressing a bit, in 1985 I received I believe my first prompting of the Holy Spirit that I was called to preach. After going to my pastor he told me I needed to immediately go to seminary. Instead of doing that I continued working in my job thinking that there would be other opportunities of ministry while I STILL kept my secular job. Despite this disobedience, the Holy Spirit continued to deal with me. I had not been baptized in the Holy Ghost at the time so I knew precious little of the true moving of the Holy Spirit and His ministry to us as believers. Over the next 12 to 18 months the Lord began to really deal with me about my salvation experience and the call He had placed on my life. Being Southern Baptist, I never knew much about the baptism in the Holy Spirit with the evidence of speaking with other tongues except in a negative way but by 1986 I was seeking answers.

            In February 1987, on a cold rainy night in Atlanta, Georgia I received the baptism in the Holy Ghost with the evidence of speaking with other tongues. While lying out in the Spirit on the kitchen floor my aunt began to prophesy over me that even though I was working with young people in the church, I would one day be preaching the gospel to others. She had seen me grow up and go through my youth years and now in 1987 a moment of destiny took place in our lives that will never be forgotten by either one of us. When she saw the depths of depravity I had fallen to in 1996, it literally broke her heart. What was even more terrible was that I began to resent her for her encouragement and wanted to leave Atlanta at all costs. I wanted a ship!

            In September of that year my ex-wife called me and told me she would like to reconcile. She had moved to Lexington, KY so for me to reconcile with her I would have to leave Atlanta and my family. Not to get into the sordid details of my divorce, it is a fair statement to make that going to Kentucky was more to me than just getting back with my ex-wife and son. On the surface it was great. How could anyone be unhappy about this? How could my family, who were warning me against it, be so against this? This was biblical. Reconciliation was scriptural. Even backslidden, I knew that. My aunt however, being the Godly lady she is and was, saw deeper. She wasn’t looking at it through the eyes of man; she was looking at it through the eyes of the Spirit. She told me that I was not running to Kentucky to my ex, I was running to Kentucky to get away from God. 

        I hardened my heart that day and basically forsook the call of God on my life for the next three years. Working nearly 80 hours a week at a job to please my ex’s financial concerns, I lost contact with the Lord. I spurned every Christian television show, gritted my teeth when I heard the name of Jesus and basically came dangerously close to even blaspheming the Holy Spirit. I fell into deep sexual sin as I went back to my ex without mandating we get legally married again. We lived together for three years without a bond. It was doomed to fail without a commitment and fail it did. In September 1998, nearly two years to the day I left Atlanta, Georgia, my ex remarried someone else and I was left in Lexington without a friend. Like Jonah, I paid the fare for running and it was a price far more than I wanted to pay. It almost cost me, like it did Jonah, my soul.

            After my ex remarried I continued in deep sexual sin basically going wild on the dating scene. Having sexual relations with women I had dated only once or twice became common that late summer and early fall. I had even had an affair with a married woman without conscience. Like Jonah, the call to Nineveh was only a memory, but the trip out of the presence of the Lord on the way to Tarshish had become a nightmare.

The Call in October, 1998 from My Brother Todd

            My other brother Todd had been interceding for me for months. He told me later that there would be days when the Lord would lead him to fast just for my salvation. Talking with him on the phone he graciously opened his house, which at the time was small even for him, his wife and their two kids, to me. Dayton was only 2.5 hours away and it would get me around family I so desperately needed. I continued running from God. Changing cities didn’t change my heart but it would bring me to my whale experience that would change my life and put me back on the road to the call of God that has been on my life since birth. 

            Going back to the days in Lexington I can see now that even though I had forsaken God, He had never taken His eyes off of me. I can remember people coming up to me on my chip route asking me if I was ever in the ministry. One dear lady had taken her groceries to her car and came back in the store to ask me that. She said she had gotten to the car and felt a strong inclination of the Lord to come back and tell me God had not forgotten the call He had placed on my life. This happened in a town of less than 200 people in the backwoods of Kentucky far away from home at a time when I could have cared less about even going to church, not to mention preaching.

          I had attended a church in Lexington that had just made things worse. I was backslidden as backslidden could be but was trying to hide my condition by “joining” another church thinking that would save what was left of my marriage. That had been my pattern all my life even when I was preaching behind a pulpit. Whenever the Lord would deal with me about certain issues in my life I’d just turn him off saying “well, I’m in church and doing you’re work Lord. That’s compensation isn’t it for all these things that are wrong.”